How to: Have “THE talk” with the guy you’re DATING…
1. Timing is of the essence
Don’t wait until you are 10 deep at the bar on Saturday night to sit down and have the chat. Being fuelled by liquid courage probably won’t end in the best result. While you may feel invincible, opt for the more private (and sober) option. You’ll thank yourself later.
2. No Games
Like the great Serani lyric, “I doh wanna play gaaaames, no gaaaames. You’re the only one that can out my flame, baby just play it straight. No gaaaames”. What a jam.
Games are for children… and I was never overly competitive so let’s just stop on GO. You KNOW he saw your text 4 hours ago and perhaps chose not to respond, the same way you got his yesterday but were “too busy” having a social life (catching up on the Real Housewives of any city, because they are all that good) to text him back. Sound familiar? Note: None of that should matter with the right one. Know what you want and be honest about it. Perhaps it’s just not right for right now, and that’s ok too – better to be on the same page. No square pegs in round holes.
3. Leave the waterworks to Wet’n’Wild
Now is not the time to get hot and heavy on how you saw your futures collide or how your first name sounded with his last. Stick to the script ladies, without the tears. Be present, responsive and listen to how he views your relationship.
Make sure you walk away feeling you got what you wanted out of the chat. Ask those uncomfortable questions at the time because if you don’t, you’ll always be wondering what his answer would have been. And, no one wants to hear you spill your soul on your “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s…”
4. Try to not reek of desperation
I know gals, easier said than done. It’s tough and a daily reminder for me in my single life but chances are, he isn’t the only one that will line up for a slice of that pie so keep it moving sister! Don’t downplay how you feel but give him the impression that if he passes, you won’t be watching Bridget Jones’ Diary at home, alone on a Friday night – you’ll be cutting loose on the D floor with other D.
5. Read the room
Pick up on what he’s putting down. You should never have to convince someone they should be with you and if you’re being a little pushy – back, the f**k, up!
I, contrary to some women am not a believer in ultimatums. If he isn’t making moves on his own, quite frankly, he doesn’t want to and is just not that into you. Or he’s too much of a wimp too, in which case the verdict still stands… onto the next.
Chances are the conversation is probably worse in your mind than in reality. There is also, at the very least a 50% chance he wants more and is ready to take your ‘having fun’ to the next level – and why wouldn’t he?