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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR #BFFL IS A SOCIAL MEDIA SLAG…

With #foodporn on crack, it’s rare to sit down at a café and not witness a race to whip out an iPhone like a pistol in a John Wayne Western.

Let’s hope with summer well and truly drawn to a close, we halve the rate of half naked chicks on our feeds… then again, it’s summer in Europe so that’s prime time real estate.

Last summer, on a beautiful Sunday morning spent at North Bondi I watched two girls fluff about for a good 10 minutes composing the insta-worthy shot of the day. Natural? No. Awkward? Yes. Hilarious viewing? Absolutely. And just like a moth to a flame, I couldn’t turn away. The set up involved one of the circular beach towels, in a gorgeous navy and white pattern, a takeaway coffee and the pièce de résistance, a bronzed (NB: tanned by can not sun) babe in a white bikini arching her back in such a way I had my osteopath on speed dial. Any location like Bondi, you are sure to witness such behaviours, and it’s a pretty great time.

One of my favourite parts of the process is watching the subtle look away and small smurk. The “What? I have no idea this photo is being taken. This is too funny…”I always stick my chin out, have my head at a 45-degree angle and stare beyond the horizon.”

Don’t get us wrong, we’re all up for getting a great shot but when obsessing over the perfect pic is more important than enjoying each others company and actually living your life, it’s time to rethink those priorities.

And we’ve all got them. Friends or family members that spend most of their time staring at their screen and off in a virtual world. Come back, we miss you. Your friends are tired of eating cold food as they’ve patiently waited for you to stand on chairs and rearrange the table.

Some advice for the supportive friend-ographers…it’s time to set a few boundaries. Cap the photo taking moments to a limit of your patience and what you are comfortable with. Be firm. In my experience, the subject might get quite temperamental if the reality doesn’t match the vision. Huffiness and stank attitude has been known to hang around for up to an hour post-shoot. No, you don’t need to comply with this behaviour. Smack her with a reality check (hard) and get on with your day.


FEATURE BY ARABELLA STUBBS


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