Because life has a way of kicking us in the ass, it’s likely your ex will get back in contact with you when you’re in the IDGAF phase: aka you’ve completely forgotten about him, have moved on with your life and are loving hitting the town as a single lady. It’s only then, when you don’t feel tempted to contact him at all, that your ex will hit you up with the dreaded “WYD?” message.
Why, you might ask? Usually, it’s because you’ve rediscovered all the attractive qualities that made them want to date you in the first place: you’re independent, having fun, and killing it in your career or social life with all that extra time you have on your hands.
Breakups are always tricky, and few of us have the willpower to avoid contact with your ex at all. If you do, power to you girlfriend! But post-break up, when your ex starts showing interest again, is when it gets even trickier. There are a few questions you can ask yourself to suss out whether you should run like you’re an extra in the Walking Dead or hop back on that D-train…
Is he texting you after 9pm on a weekend? GIRL, HE A F*%#BOI! Run, don’t walk. He’s horny and wants to put his Scotch Finger in your jam jar. Don’t even think about it – sex with your ex is never a good idea (trust me, I tried it once a few times). There are plenty of other tastier biscuits out there who won’t leave a trail of crumbs when they leave in the morning (see what I did there?)
Did he break your heart? If he didn’t think your relationship was worth working on at the time it ended, why should he get to enjoy your company now that you’re your happy, confident self again? He wasn’t there to answer your drunk dials at 3am or when you were crying into your tortilla chips, so don’t give him the benefit of re-entering your life now.
Are the reasons for your break-up still there? Let’s face it, you broke up for a reason, and unless one or both of you have changed drastically, there’s absolutely no point in jumping back into a relationship that’s inevitably going to end anyway. Although it might be tempting to jump back into bed with each other to avoid the pain of your break-up, in the long-term you’re going to have to face it eventually. Don’t risk hurting yourself again for a momentary fix: after all, in the words of the great Taylor Swift, Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes.
Ultimately, getting and staying in contact with your ex is dangerous and you should tread carefully. I like to compare it to downing that third tequila shot after polishing off a bottle of wine: it could end really well, but there’s a 99% chance shit’s going to hit the fan and you’re going to end up on the floor in tears. Or with your head in the toilet bowl, but that’s a story for another day.