When we think about breakups, most of us picture the oh-so-familiar scene in the film Legally Blonde, where Miss Elle Woods has just been brutally dumped by her boyfriend, Warner. Her post-breakup regime consisted of hiding out in her room, lounging amongst her pink fluffy pillows, indulging in a box of chocolates and watching black and white romantic movies (and angrily throwing things at the television whenever there appeared to be an on-screen pash!). Now, for some of us this might sound like the perfect way to go about things after we’ve had our heart broken, but this type of behaviour won’t exactly help you in the long run. Let’s face it – when a relationship ends, most of us want to crawl up into a ball, listen to John legend songs on repeat and eat endless tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Ladies, moping around for too long isn’t going to do you any good! By all means, those first few weeks are probably going to be the hardest, but after a short while, it’s time to rid the tears and face your fears! Despite what your emotions are telling you, you’re a lot stronger than you think and as soon as you start to use this inner strength to your own advantage, you’ll be feeling like your normal self again in no time! Breakups are the perfect time to focus on yourself, try new things and make a fresh start. Now, in order to help you get back on your feet, we’ve put together a list of ways to handle a break up like a boss. So, follow these simple steps and your ex will be sorry he ever let you go!
1. Remove him from your contacts and all social media
Yes, it sounds a little harsh – but the last thing you want to be doing is drunk-texting him at 2 am. on a Saturday night or seeing photo’s of him with another girl through social media (ouch!). So, as soon as you break up – block his number on your phone, de-friend him on Facebook and stop following him on Instagram! This will help you to keep your distance and not get caught up in everything that he is doing. If you’re constantly seeing his face pop up everywhere, it’s only going to make you miss him even more than you already do. So, do yourself a favour and hit that delete button, it’s the first step to moving on and you’ll feel much better about it all!
2. Workout like there’s no tomorrow
It’s time to leave your cave of forgotten dreams and interact with the outside world. Exercising will help to clear your mind and release those little endorphins that make us all feel so good inside. Whether it’s going for a run in the fresh air or taking a yoga class, you’ll feel much better about yourself and reap all the benefits that exercise has to offer! So get moving, ladies!
3. Keep yourself busy
Don’t sit at home feeling sorry for yourself – as much as you’d love to kick back with takeaway and Netflix every night, this is no way to go about it, ladies! This is your perfect opportunity to focus on your work, spend quality time with your friends and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do but have never found the time for. If you keep yourself busy and your social calendar is packed with fun activities, you’ll find that you won’t have any time to even think about your ex! It’s a win/win situation!
4. Hit the town
That’s right; grab your group of girlfriends, head to a bar, order a few cocktails and you’ll be well on your way to a good time. You may as well make the most out of being single and just enjoy yourself! This will help you to meet new people and maybe even score a few phone numbers (go girl!). Going out will help keep your mind off ‘you know who’ and will make you realize that there are a lot of other, ahem (hotter) men out there.
5. Avoid meeting up with your ex a few months down the track…
If you’ve been apart for a few months and he asks to meet up with you for a coffee, as much as you may think this is a good idea, unfortunately, it isn’t. Think about it – you’ve just spent the past few months recovering and getting back to your normal self and you’re finally feeling better than ever. Why would you want to compromise this all for the person who broke your heart in the first place? If you meet up with him, you’ll roll all the way back to square one. Even if you think you’re strong enough, don’t do it to yourself, it’s so not worth it!
6. Focus on the positive
When our good old friend Samantha from Sex and the City was asked how she was, her reply was always ‘fabulous!’ So follow in her footsteps ladies, as this is the exact mindset you need to start having. Don’t blame yourself for what happened, the past is in the past and its time to move on. This is your chance to really find yourself without relying on someone else. Embrace every moment, enjoy having your ‘me time’ and stay positive. Highlight your best qualities and remind yourself every day how great you are. As the saying goes – you have to love yourself before somebody else can! And as soon as you’re content with being on your own, that’s when you’ll know you’re ready to start dating again. And remember, it doesn’t happen overnight, but each day you’ll start to feel a bit better. So don’t ever lose hope because you’ll get there eventually and when you do, you’ll feel on top of the world!
WORDS BY NEISHA MULLHAM